Why?

 

[Chai…chai (nariyal le lo nariyal)chai…chai….cha(samaajik gyan..saal 2014)ai…cha(ki sabse badi khabro ke sath )ai..ch(akhbaar)ai..chai..]

[Chai…chai (coconut, buy coconut)chai…chai….cha(General Knowledge..year 2014)ai…cha(biggest news)ai..ch(newspaper)ai..chai..]

There were people all around. Some heavily dressed, stuffing their mouths with everything they came across and some other moderately dressed with their berths overloaded with luggage, occasionally eating gujiya’s from their lunch bag.

Few couple daring their kids not to move an inch and few other elite people listening to music, playing Subway Surf lying on their brand new bed sheets as “Ew railway’s bed sheets are so tacky” while ordering lunch from pantry.

Amidst these people there she was, on the upper berth lost in thoughts refusing to eat anything. Why was the usual “playing antakshri in train is so much fun” girl so upset.

There were people all around. Men with coffee cups standing at a distance, crying women surrounding the bride and gossiping women discussing bride’s saree. Few kids were standing there with “why are they crying ” faces while few others with  “can we go home now” faces. The halwais’ are in dilemma. They can’t decide whether they should start eating or wait for the bride to go.

The drivers are ready to kill the one who decided to come early as they have been waiting since evening.And amidst all these people there she is, no tears in her eyes. Looking at everyone she tried to cry and even succeeded. But why was the usual “emotional” girl not crying on her sister’s bidai (valediction).

[Sindoor daan ke liye kanya ko bolaeye] (call the bride for rituals)

There were people all around. Men with 2-3 plates of snacks in hand. Women with 2-3 layers of make-up on face and 20kgs of gold on body.  There were few men with “I don’t want more paneer pakore” and women with “Who wears so much gold these days” regretting their decision. Kids were walking behind the cameraman to appear in as many pictures as possible.

The place was so crowded that even ants will suffocate to death. But still people were laughing and welcoming others whole-heartedly. And amidst all these happy people there was sad she standing in a corner. She was so much excited about the marriage then why was she not happy?

***********************************************************************

“Mom I am home”
Mom: I have been waiting for you. Look what you have done. (Shows her the cell phone)
“What? You only told me to book tickets”
Mom: Yeah but you booked four.
“So?” (Puzzled)
Mom: Your sister will go with her husband.
“oh”

That was the first time she realised marriage is not just about sarees , jewellery , gifts..there was so much more to it. Being younger she grew up on her sister’s thing. Her old uniform, her shoes , her bags, her pencil box , her hair bands, her clothes, her books, her notes, her projects, her crafts …everything.  But she never thought that one day she had to grow up on her as well

They were nothing like the conventional sisters. They didn’t have the same taste or similar opinions. Neither had they accepted each other’s differences. They used to fight on every possible disagreement, there were cold wars every second day. Their relationship faced repeated events of “Mummy’s rule” and went past the heat of “Papa’s Punishments” many times, but they always stood together. They were always together.

And now all that seems meaningless. Now she won’t share their bed, she won’t be there to play antakshri, she won’t accompany her on shopping trips,  she won’t even be able to see her for days. Somebody from the outside has claimed his rights on her. Now he will make her laugh, he will make her angry, he will fight with her, he’ll asks her “why is she mad” and he’ll be on her priority list.

Since she is married to him, she is not hers anymore.Nobody said that but now she knows not only betiya, behene bhi paraya dhan hoti hai (not only daughters, but sisters too are someone else’s treasure!)

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2014 in Review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,600 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 27 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Equality Vs Dignity

Recently I read about UN’s women wing organising gender equality #heforshe program-mes to make women aware of their rights. I wonder if we are equal to men then why UN has a different wing for us ? Why government has quotas for us? Why buses, metros have reservation for us? Why doing something out of the “girly” box bring us into lime light? Why such a fuss over Marry being the first women to run a global automaker? Why Olympics have different parameters for us?

Is that because we aren’t equal ? Is the world not showing that men and women are two totally different beings by having different parameters to judge them and still shouting for equality?

When they say we all are equal in the eye of law, they mean two person accused of the same crime will be given the same punishment, irrespective of their status, caste creed, race , ethnicity or gender (whether or not they are given is altogether a different thing).
But what do they mean when they say, women are equal to men? Are we biologically same? No. Is our thinking process same? I don’t think so. Then what make us equal?

Well! Let me say we are not equal. Then? Does that make us  less human?Not being men means we have no dignity and we deserve no respect?
If we are still humans then why are we treated as objects or property and hence “conquered”? Why rapes are such common sight these days that no one even pays attention to these news? Why walking alone in the street is such a dreadful task? Why while asking for permission to go out, we don’t sound confident that we’ll be safe. Why everybody is so eager to pass their cheap comments on us, dig their hands into our flesh, or scan us with their lecherous glares? Why our clothes, parties, friends counted as our attributes? Why is our safety on the cost of our liberty? Why even staying home isn’t an assurance of being safe?  Why our will is of no importance to anyone? Why are we sold  and bought everyday? Why we have to prove that we are equal to men, to gain basic human rights?

                                               WE ARE MORE THAN JUST A VAGINA

We too have needs and desires. We too feel lonely that’s why we make friends..We too are social creatures that’s  why we go out. We too want to enjoy our life that’s why we go to pubs, discs, malls. We  too long for love that’s why we fall for someone. We too want to look good that’s why we apply makeup. We feel comfortable in shorts that’s why we wear them? We go for prostitution because we need money and not sex. Whatever we do is not always aimed at impressing guys, there is so much more to it.  Are these things too complicated to understand?  Dont treat as equals, just as humans.

Birthday Bash 2

She : (over-brimming with joy) Hey, Happy Birthday 😀 And sorry I couldn’t call at 12 .You know I’m not allowed to make calls late night.
He : Thanks. And its okay. And in fact its okay even if you haven’t called.
She : I said I’m sorry
He : No. Nothing like that. Its not such a big day for me,its like any other day. A normal day with people popping from every corner  and wishing you birthday
She : So what do you mean? You don’t like me calling you
He : Not. You are taking me wrong. I love talking to people its just that birthday’s are not important for me.
She : Oh okay. That’s weird. But anyways Happy Birthday
She
Birthday’s are not important. Not important. How? Even that thought makes me sad. How can it be like any other day. We were born on one specific day and that makes that day important.Its one single day . How can he be so casual about birthday. See Unhappy/sad Birthday don’t even match. Its always Happieeeee Birthday. I know we aren’t “Mahatma Gandhi” so no holiday but its our day.We buy new clothes, we get wishes, blessings and presents. And one can never stop loving presents. Wanting presents and getting excited is kind of umarless(ageless). Strange. I wish I can understand his point of view
He
When you expect people to wish you and they don’t because they were busy,when you expect people to be around cause its your big day and they don’t, when you are happy for your “happy birthday” and nobody notices, when you have nothing to be happy about, when even your birthday is not your day, you understand birthday’s are just any other day. I wish she never has to understand this.

Because she loves him?

You look good with specs (seems he didn’t even take a bath)
(Saying that she settled herself opposite to him)
He: “Thanks”
Ahm ._.
He: “You want anything”
No. I had my breakfast.
He: “I woke up late, I’m hungry. Will you  have ice-cream ?”
Okay
He: “One cheese sandwich and one chocolate ice-cream”
No. I’ll have a Vadilal King Cone. See there is a misprint in your menu, its Cone and not….
He: “C’mon. Bhaiya one cheese sandwich and one Vadilal King cone
-_-
He:”What? It doesn’t matter. By the way, you look gorgeous”
Thanks. So you going tomorrow?
He:”Yeah. Now don’t make faces, okay. I am quite hungry”
(Who eats like that). When will you be back
He:”After a week or so”
(Say something, I can’t keep mum) . Hmmm……..UUMMMMM we  are supposed to be friends, this was a friendly meeting, this is wrongmmmmmmmmhhh
And slowly she melted in his arms. Not so planned, not so expected and not so good, her first kiss.
He knelt down and proposed her saying he was stupid to let her go, the first time.

 

On her way back home, she kept thinking about the events at the restaurant. Does the nose really come in between while kissing? It might be because he had a big nose. Or because she was a terrible kisser as he said. Only then she realized how awkward it was, how she didn’t know how to kiss. Suddenly, she got a text saying we gotta practice kissing a lot 😉 Oh God! She loves him so much.

She was not cool, practical, smart, mirror cracking material. She was an ordinary girl with extraordinarily big misconceptions about herself and the world. One month ago they dated for a week, later he dumped her saying he couldn’t get over his past after listening to her alok nathian thoughts. He was this good-looking, smart, broad minded guy for whom looks didn’t matter, as obviously, he wasn’t interested in looks.
You see broad-minded.

She was disheartened. It came as complete shock to her. Someone rejected her after dating her for a week. Was she so bad? She didn’t know what was hurting her more, the rejection or he going away? Whatever it was, it messed up her whole system and she ended up desperately trying to have him back in her life which only brought failure. She tried every means but nothing worked. And she was too naive to understand what will work.

But she couldn’t resist talking to him. So one day she hesitantly asked for his friendship, and to her utter surprise, he agreed. Only the thought of being in contact with him made her happy. Yes, she loves him.

Now they were together again, but were they really together? She knew he was kind of self-obsessed person, demanding all the attention in the world, so as a friend she just stopped feeding his attention seeking demon. A movie trick. Smart move..huh? Little did she know that love is not a game for moves.
But it worked and see now he was on his knees before her. She somewhere felt that he was telling a lie, he was making up for the mess he created by dumping her.Her instincts kept on telling her that all that was one big bluff, she has just made herself his next target. But that didn’t bother. It was the one beautiful lie, she’ll give her whole life for. She thought she’ll make him, love her. Just filmy thingy. Little did she know that you can’t make someone fall for you.

 

He:”I’m sorry, I’m late. Dad had some work. I even thought of cancelling the date but then I thought you’ll be annoyed.” ( adjusting himself in the chair next to her)
Yeah. Its okay. Now I’m used to waiting
He:”Just like me, you too have kept me on wait”
I? When
He:”You know whats my weak point and you are not letting me have you”
Bu..but you know..(she blushed) Its wrong.
He:”Oh come on, two people who are in love with each other, give their everything.”
(she said nothing)
He:”Look, I want to make love to you. I love you. Dont you?”
I do. You know that.
He:”Then whats the big deal”

Yes. It wasn’t wrong, both were mature and hence can take their own decision. But she wasn’t comfortable. She knew she wasn’t making out with someone who loves her, but with someone, she wanted to love her back. Her intimacy was not driven by love but by greed. She always talked about “making love” but she turned it prostitutional. It was one big task she was doing to make her love stay. Little did she know, you can’t make people stay in your life.

She had the feeling that something was wrong and somewhere she knew what was wrong. But she pretended as everything was good. As if she is unaware of the storm building inside her. She somewhere knew he was just tricking her into this but she was too scared to admit that. She had started loving the bubble, she was living in.She was always a weak and confused soul. She knew she was doing something she was going to regret forever still she let that happen. But why was she doing so? Because she knew he doesn’t love him. Because she knew he was going to leave her. Because she was too weak to face rejection. Because she wanted to hit on his guilty conscience. Because she has no guts to take responsibility for her own mistakes. To make him see that she loves him. Yes, she loves him.

She was Different !!!!!


A small square dull dusky face showing no signs of happiness or sorrow; nervousness or excitement, big brown eyes with no wonder or curiosity, with no spark of affection or innocence, lips that hardly ever formed a curve as if they know the root cause of pain is happiness, poorly developed muscles covered with thin single layer of epithelium, nerves and bones trying to peep out as if she hasn’t eaten in ages and that too when she comes from a very rich family. She was different.

I always thought girls at a young age only think about new clothes, matching hairbands, having the newest sketch pen set,  using the fruity sketch pen in every drawing, pink strawberry scented eraser, dolls, the kitchen set they saw at a friend’s place, days left to their birthday, which friend to take while distributing toffee’s and questioning every new thing they saw or heard from someone. But, She was different.

At the age of 12 she couldn’t even read or write simple three-letter words but she was excellent in cheating and lying. It wasn’t like she was a rich spoiled kid, more like she is actually dumb. And not only dumb, her class fellows even considered her deaf as they felt she never listens to anyone. She was punished daily and still no improvement. Teachers were so frustrated with her that they don’t even mind beating a small kid with sticks and she was so used to these that she didn’t mind them. Instead it was a part of her daily routine. She wasn’t the sincere, studious, garrulous, punishment-fearing girl, She was different.

Not every girl is born to such loving parents, who have given birth to six daughters just for a son.
Not every girl is given food just to make her live.
Not every girl learns to make perfect roti before mastering “A”.
Not every girl is sent to school just to accompany her brother.
Not every girl is beaten brutally if found with books.
Not every girl realises, at her tender, that she is a burden to her parents.

INDEED SHE WAS DIFFERENT!

Justice at it’s Best..

She didn’t know that she is a widow now or that she was married. Well, when I was her age I couldn’t even spell marriage. But being a widow was quite comforting, according to her.

No heavy 6m long sari, covering her 3ft long body obstructing her walk.
No jewelry-bedecked on her body, obstructing her movements.
No vermilion messing up her silky black hair. No need to learn different cuisines as there is no one to impress.
No need to stay hungry for the long life of her so called partner who parted away leaving her alone.

When she turned 11, she was sent to her in-laws’ home to spend the rest of her life, with them. Everyone there gave her a warm welcome, no hard corners and taunting. Her mother-in-law took her as a replacement for her 5th son.

As years passed by, she grew up. Puberty did a magic on her. She blossomed in the love and affection she got. But growing up had its own side-effects. She started questioning everything. The usual calm and composed girl started turning into a rebel or should I say, the trammels and torments turned her into so. The white rags, the bland food, tied hairs, and staying home all day long was not comforting now. The prohibition to visit religious ceremonies and places annoyed her. The laugh and giggle of girls of her age burned her inside.

And amidst this mess, she got attracted to her elder brother-in-law. She knew her feelings towards him were illegitimate, not only she was married but he was married too. But there was no one to guide her. Whatever she asked for was denied, so she didn’t even dare to ask this. He sensed her feelings for him. And instead of showing her the correct path, he started playing with her mind. He started alluring her. The teenage with hormonal imbalance, confused and frustrated mind, and misguidance eventually led to the biggest mistake of her life. She confused attraction for love and surrendered herself. He started using her for his pleasure. After two-three abortions she also came to know that he doesn’t love her. But it was too late to mend things.

Slowly, the news spread. And they punished the culprit. She was raped by all the brothers. According to them she was one desperate woman to call all this on her. She hadn’t even recovered from the heartbreak and this happened. She was broken. Her heart wrenched. Her soul cried for mercy. But no one heard her plea. No one came to her rescue. After that day, she became a public property, used by people as and when required. She was turned into a whore.

But, as we say, “In God’s home there is a delay but no denial.” When this news reached the panchayat, they were shocked. They can’t believe it all happened under their nose. They came forward to provide justice. And yes, they granted her justice. No one used her from then onwards. No one talked ill about her. No one ever saw her lustfully. She was no more considered a pollutant contaminating the whole sea.

She was given poison.!!